


Tear At My Skin

by troubledsouls



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Bigender Character, Dysphoria, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-27 12:51:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5049280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troubledsouls/pseuds/troubledsouls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She has half a mind to call Gerard, because they always know what to do in situations like this where the skin doesn't fit right, but it's a studio day and she's gotta work on melodies and chords.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tear At My Skin

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not having a good night so this is kinda a vent fic

It's only a couple minutes into the studio session when Pete realizes it's a Bad Body Day. 

Pete feels all wrong in Pete's skin, doesn't know whether Pete wants she/her on he/him that day. 

Pete figures out what Pete wants and declares that Pete wants she/her that day, because it's a day where her jaw is too sharp and her body is too boy. 

It's not that she's fluid, she just is both, and is usually comfortable in t-shirts and pants (mostly jeans and sweatpants), but today she's too boy and wishes she'd put a skirt on that morning. 

She has half a mind to call Gerard, because they always know what to do in situations like this where the skin doesn't fit right, but it's a studio day and she's gotta work on melodies and chords. 

At lunch break Patrick comes up behind Pete, wrapping his arms around her waist and whispering soft comfort into her ear, followed by a kiss on the cheek before he goes off to eat. 

It makes Pete smile, and she brings a hand up to the spot Patrick kissed. 

More working, more melodies, and all Pete wants to do is write songs about how bad she feels instead of working on already written ones. 

She slips off with an excuse of needing to use the bathroom, which she does go to to stare in the mirror and pinch at her jawline, willing it to move in, and Pete realizes she needs a girl name. 

It's usually okay to go by Pete on Bad Body Days, but Pete doesn't fit right now just like her body doesn't. She wants some of the girl while retaining the boy, she wants slightly softer edges and maybe small breasts, but softer edges would be the best thing. But not too soft, because then she'll want the harder edges and suddenly she's sobbing with her forehead against the mirror. 

She fumbles for her phone and calls Gerard, who picks up on the third ring and listens to her babble about needing a girl name and needing a softer body. 

Gerard then talks about Mikey/Jamie, their genderfluid brother, how he chose his girl name as a alteration of his middle name. They talk about skirts they like. They talk about colors that would go well with Pete. 

By now the others are probably worried, but Pete talks through a name with Gerard, finally settling on Kelli. 

Pete feels better after hanging up, deciding that she's not going to put Kelli in front of the boys yet. And that she'll put it as an option, so that they can call her Pete or Kelli. 

Pete's not fluid, rather, she's stuck in between genders, not quite one of the other, but both a boy and a girl at the same time. 

Today was a Bad Body Day. But those can get better.


End file.
